Miss Manners Gets Nostalgic & Makes Bagels
And buys groceries from local farm stand.
Hey there. How was your week? Here are 5 of my days.
February 24
Today I stopped myself in my tracks for a moment while reminiscing about the 80s and 90s. I was listening to “These Are Days” by 10,000 Maniacs, missing tape decks, CDs, and my old Sony Walkman, and had this thought: despite the chaos of these dark-leaning, current times, what if I look back 20 years from now and think of today as “the good days?” What if these days ARE the good old days? I can imagine looking back five, ten, twenty years from now and thinking, why didn't I appreciate that time in my life more? Why wasn't I more present? Why did I compare those days to some idealized version of the past? And why did I focus solely on the negativity of the news and let collective negativity stain my innately optimistic perspective as much as it did?
What if these ARE the good old days?
I find myself wishing I had appreciated my time in high school and college more. Those awkward years had their charm. I wish I had cherished the days when I was in my twenties more, just figuring it out, totally free and full of possibility. I wish I’d known how fleeting and special the freedom of youth is. Today I’m seeing 55 as young because 10 years from now, it will be.
Current mindset reset: Spring-clean any foundational level of discontent that I find lurking. Rid myself of any thoughts I discover seeping into my ability to be satisfied with the smallest moments of joy, presence, contentment, and acceptance for where I am right now.
Nothing particularly magical has to happen today, this week, or this month for me to be happy. My heart is beating. I’m surrounded by people who love me and who I love. I can wear retro headphones, go analogue as much as I want. I can create today and tomorrow from a place of fairly endless possibility, while still being totally content with where I am because I am healthy and alive. To me, that is faith.
Anyway, today I celebrate just having an ordinary, boring day.
February 25
Bagels!! Not boring.
Holy cow. Make these high-protein bagels. I saw Bethenny Frankel make these on her IG and they are everything she says they are. SWOON.
Recipe:
1 cup flour (I might try with a GF flour and see how they are- I’m sure they’ll be good)
1/2 cup plain greek yogurt
1/2 cup cottage cheese
2 tsp. baking powder
Cover in everything-bagel seasoning. (I didn’t do egg wash and they were fine.)
400° oven. Bake 30 min or until almost burnt/ super-brown.
Makes 4 bagels.
We had them for dinner with cream cheese, tomatoes, and Italian seasoning. So freaking GOOD. And easy.
February 26
Today I’m thinking about the role of etiquette in history. Social rituals. Manners.
I've been reflecting, as I’m sure you have, on the rudeness and hostility in public discourse. It feels like everyone has completely forgotten their manners— most importantly, our top leaders are crude-speaking and have no manners, the ones who are supposed to be role models. I have a big problem with people who don’t say please and thank you. It’s not difficult to be gracious on the most basic level, and it should be an automatic behavior as far as I’m concerned.
I’m not claiming to be Miss Manners here. I’m all for you-be-you, relaxing unnecessary formal stiffness, eating in front of television, keeping your phone on the table as long as you’re not using it the whole meal, and wearing what you want to wear within reason and within the constraints of the law (made by decent people)… It’s nice that we’ve let go of some formalities! We can now (usually) relate more honestly and directly with one another, say what we feel, and allow self-expression that’s more permissive. Transactional transparency can be helpful.
But etiquette exists for a reason. Being generous and polite creates a positive atmosphere, helps build community by establishing very basic commonalities between different groups of people— ex: men and women, or people who don’t speak the same language. Social rituals are useful tools when sharing space with people who have different values or different life experiences. Manners are REALLY useful when you’re with people who you flat-out don't like. Manners maintain decency, dignity, and respect, allowing differences to coexist thanks to a common language. Orderly behavior is predictable behavior, which helps ease stress and anxiety.
And then I circle back to: every firmly-set established piece of order needs to be shaken up occasionally, to bring a fresh perspective in and to allow growth in the system. We've seen historical examples where breaking down the old order led to positive change. Cultural shifts have broadened social access and acceptance, reflected in the arts and civil rights activism, filtering into the norms of a country. Breaking down restrictive order has led to significant positive changes.
We need some chaos and individual expression to disrupt stale, orderly establishment. (Pluto in Aquarius for the astrology-curious.)
We also need a community fused together with mutual respect, kind consideration, and a basic common language of mannerisms… manners. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.
Can we get to a place in this country where individuality can continue to escalate, without the unity of the country dissolving into a million little narcissistic fractals all rudely warring to be validated?
How do you think of “manners” in your own life? When does etiquette become toxic? (I’ve coined a term called “toxic etiquette” that I’m getting obsessed with exploring…) Once basic etiquette and social rituals are gone from public discourse, can they be brought back or replaced by equally cohesive rituals?
February 27
This was interesting listen and a timely episode, kind of an extension of yesterday’s wondering about how we interact with each other.
February 28
Boycott Day.
Are you into it or not? I have to say that I am into it, if only as an expression of The People’s Voice. However, one thing I do NOT like about it is the potential for the purcha$ing dip hurting everyday employees at these companies. Really really hoping that everyday workers aren’t impacted by a one-day boycott. (The year-long schedule of boycotts do worry me if they get some steam.)
Ideologically, I’m on board with wallet-protests. Realistically, I’m worried that if the protests are effective, people will lose their jobs. Bottom-line curiosity is if there will be any meaningful reactions to millions of people not purchasing things for one day. It’s a good social-political experiment.
Buying coffee beans and a few basic groceries today from my local farmer’s market.
♥️Lots and lots of love to you, for real.♥️
xoAubrey